Fuck off 2015. Hello 2016!


Last year was a dick. I lost a friend in unfair circumstances. All of my hair fell out. I had more jobs in 9 months than I did in the first ten years of my working life. It was a stressful load of shit that I’m glad to see the back of. Fuck off 2015. You were a right cunt of a solar cycle.

Thankfully the end of 2015 set 2016 up as a much better year. I’ve got a decent job with a decent wage in the town that I live in. To help make sure I dominate 2016, I’ve prepared a list of guidelines to live by over the coming 12 months.

  1. Learn to code – I’ve been using computers since 1988 – professionally since 1998. I’ve been involved in implementing systems for a large tech company and provided support for the biggest company in the world. I have no excuse for only having a limited knowledge of HTML.

    I’ll begin learning Python because it’s easy and may have work applications. From there I’ll pick up Swift because I need an excuse to buy a new Mac.

  2. Quit drinking at home – Last night I sent some polite encouraging best wishes to some people whose work I really admire. I spent £4 on a frivolous purchase. This morning I woke up feeling the kind of shame I should only feel from masturbating in front of children. My brain knows I have nothing to be ashamed of but my body wants me to feel like I’ve done something terrible.

    I’m not so old that I can’t face hangovers. I just want to make sure I did something worthy of the hangover. I’m not going to do that shitfaced on my own.

  3. Drink at least one pint in a different town/city every month. – I like cities. I need an excuse to go out and get a pint.

  4. Only eat meat once a week – This isn’t about saving animals or protesting factory farming conditions. The prosaic reality is that coding needs me to be more analytical. I want this to extend to other areas and my diet is one of them. Last year I made a decision based on whether it looked nice to eat. Now I need to think harder about what I’m shoving into my face.

  5. Quit all social media – Obviously this blog is a form of social media but it’s totally one-way. There are no comments. You can’t contact me. This site is a creative outlet for me and that’s it.

    I’m quitting social media for a number of reasons, most of which are summed up in Jon Ronson’s excellent So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed. The main reason is that it’s just too distracting. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve sat in front of Faecbook, decided to look at something else and instinctively typed F, A, C, E, Down and Enter.

  6. Get through one book per week – I’ve easily got a 100+ books that I had every intention of read then just didn’t.

  7. Get my Steam finished percentage up to 40% – This is probably the most difficult to accomplish, especially considering I bought four games today and was gifted another. I currently have 693 games in my Steam library and about 50 in my GOG library. My Wii U has three games on there that are still unfinished. I’ve figured out that currently I’ve only finished 23.4%. of the games I’ve bought. This is just a massive waste of money and I need to get on top of it.

  8. Review every book and game – A creative exercise. It’ll get me into the habit of writing more often.

  9. Visit a dentist – It’s not a British thing. It’s an I’m-fucking-terrified-of-the-dentist-thing. My teeth look fine but I might have some hidden damage. I’ve needed to get my wisdom teeth out for nearly ten years now. It’s time to man up.

  10. Don’t fuck off this entire list just because I failed one.